Brenda Stardom [ Video Game EPILEPSY: First Person Account ]

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12-7-2004 - Video Game EPILEPSY: First Person Account

9:26 am GMT+1

"....turn on the bright lights" from Interpol echoes in my ears and I flash on how perfect it is for what I'm about to write. I'm not doing this to relate a personal experience. I deem this important enough to bring awareness to it and put it in the spotlight.

I had a scare yesterday, big fat omg am I dying kind of episode, something like never experienced before. If I believed flashbacks are real, I'd blame it on that, but no, it turns out that it was due to my -- this is hard to admit -- video game addiction and watching movies that sometimes go nuts on the screen.

I didn't nap as usual yesterday, a must as I get up at 4, and I had just finished watching Kill Bill 2 and the DVD player is a bit out of whack and the images would alter and switch to pixels, bright squares, flickering, flashing and then clearing. After, I noticed that while looking at the screen, it began to have dark and light spots and though it was weird, I said, let's go play this major league baseball game we're getting hooked on. Also I'd spent a lot of time playing Psi-Ops: Mindgate Conspiracy the past few days as I'm roaring through the levels. It has become obsessive. It's what I think about when I'm doing other things. It's like it's calling me. I sound like a 14 year old boy which is a bit embarrassing to say.

The baseball game was most strange as differently shaded white lights and all sorts of flashes made it seem as if I were playing in 3D and not being one to know when to stop, I continued until I had to uncle it and put the controller aside. I staggered to lie down and the lights came with me and when I closed my eyes, I had my own private show, oranges, pinks, flashes of other colors, but heavy on orange. My head felt like it was being pressurized, my chest was tight, my gums and neck hurt and my upper body, especially my neck would jerk like I was being electrocuted. An orange ball began to grow in all directions and I felt as if I were going with it and that's when I had the quick 'I'm dying' thought.

I didn't put any of this together until late yesterday after the episode was over and I could see again out of my left eye and feel like my molecules were decompressing and helping the electrical storm abate,. I took 1mg Klonopin, all the while doing yoga breathing, remembering what I'd learned ages ago, staying calm, even as all my strength was being taken to push fear away. After 30 minutes I was ok enough to turn on my monitor and check out what I sensed, typing in "epilepsy lights" and it's a good thing I was lying down because the words "Video Game Epilepsy" flashed every color so fast it became white and I knew I was on the right trail.

Those words about video game epilepsy came from an Indian source, Neurologyindia which had the following in their introduction:

Photosensitive reflex epilepsy constitutes 10% of all new cases of epilepsy presenting in the age group of 7-19 years.[5] It is a relatively rare kind of epilepsy with an incidence of 1:4,000 of general population.[2],[6] The attacks are precipitated by flickering or patterned stimuli; the most common precipitant is television. This may in addition, be associated with sleep deprivation, stress or other causes of lowered convulsive threshold.

I had to use that to preface the next which addresses video game epilepsy, as that's how it began and I don't have to shut my eyes to see the screen as it was yesterday when it would turn into dancing pixel squares in neon and the game that became acid-like and I certainly remember how tired I was.

I've already told what occurred after viewing Kill Bill 2, here's what Neurology India reported:

Video game epilepsy is almost similar to photosensitive epilepsy. Some investigators consider this to be an extension of photosensitive reflex epilepsy while others consider this to be a form of pattern sensitive epilepsy. Television or computer screen is the commonest precipitants. Ruston first described an epileptic attack precipitated by video game in 1981, while Jeavons described a first case of epilepsy induced by a small hand held video game.[2] Since then, the reports have risen steadily.

The most common seizure type is generalised tonic clonic seizure (84%) compared to absence (6%) and myoclonic jerks (2%).

I already have myoclonic jerks which began 9 years ago after being caught in an unknown military test, my guess being microwave, some sort of pulse or ELF. What's the frequency, Kenneth? Whatever it was, my body has experienced these mofo jerks ever since and if I don't take a Klonopin at night, they happen during the day and the fear of them happening in public keeps me in the house a lot and yes, playing games. Lately they've begun happening rather ferociously, even waking me up, my head whipping across my pillow, the sound audible. They've become so strong, they hurt.

I feel like I'm standing before a video game addict group, saying hi, my name's Brenda and I'm a videogameaholic. I have to in other for this to carry any weight. I also need more backup. Zing and zap me, check out what was found on Video Game Stratagies, the title of the article being,"Can Video Games Kill?" from 1997! Whoa, I felt a chill snake up my spine upon reading those words. Wow, this is amazing and also something I tuned out when told -- the manual which is supposed to come with every video game. Example:

EPILEPSY AND SEIZURES READ THIS NOTICE BEFORE YOU OR CHILD USE ANY VIDEO GAME A very small portion of the population have a condition which may cause them to experience epileptic seizures of have momentary loss of consciousness when viewing certain kinds of flashing lights or patterns that are commonly present in our daily environment. These persons may experience seizures while watching some kinds of television pictures or playing certain video games. Players who have not had any previous seizures may nonetheless have an undetected epileptic condition.

Read that last line again, but I'm taking it further postulating that obsessive playing, hours and hours on end, close to the screen can cause it, negating the 'undetected epileptic condition'. It's just a hunch, I can't back it up and all this is new to me. I've been crash-coursing and that's a lot of information to store and access and put in an understandable order. Did that make sense? I'm still a tad out of it. The disclaimer goes on and winds up with:

We recommend that parents observe their children while they play video games. If you or your child experience any of the following symptoms: dizziness, altered vision, eye or muscle twitching, involuntary movements, loss of awareness, disorientation, or convulsions, DISCONTINUE USE IMMEDIATELY and consult your physician.

I'm sure glad that the "you" was included and there's no effin way I'd consult a physician. Not here. The ER is so bad I'm forced to be my own doctor. I had no clue this could be harmful. I don't need a doctorman to know which way this totally BlOWS! Since it's the first time it's happened on the scale it did yesterday, I was in the dark about the possible consequences of game addiction and the fact that I already had a quasi-epilepsy condition which could cause what happened yesterday.

I have already made changes. This morning I'm writing in a well-lit room, as computer screens are also culprit because of the refresh rate, I have no desire to finish the level I'm on or to play baseball, yesterday's experience is still too fresh and I have to make some drastic changes in the way I do anything involving a screen, be it my monitor, TV or video games. When I do play again, it will be different. I won't play when tired or more than 15 minutes without taking a break and the room will be lit up like Times Square on New Year's Eve. If need be, the Xbox will move from the living room to the bedroom as the distance between the couch and the TV is very close, which is stressed to be one of the top culprits. I will never skip a nap again.

There's nothing more to add, except if anyone has experienced this and had no idea why, or if a parent has observed changes themselves or in their kid while playing games -- btw, not all games can cause this -- they should read these articles and do even more searching. I'm sapped, but have to get dressed and head out to the pharmacy to buy some Klonopin (Rivotil, here) as I ran out last night. The last thing I want to be is a real jerk again today.

Occasionally a game comes along that is, for one reason or another, so engrossing that things like food and bathroom breaks are sacrificed on behalf of the Zen-like psychological state that comes from unfettered focus of the on-screen action.
--game review

Brenda Stardom
Portugal

Related report: http://www.brendastardom.com/arch.asp?ArchID=462